Pregnancy Cravings & How to Deal With Them

According to a recent survey, women reported spending an average of over 44 minutes each day thinking about what they wanted to eat- can you relate or can you relate? (And that’s just the amount of brainpower spent on what you want to eat, not even taking into account the time spent thinking about what you already ate). When you consider that expectant mothers dealing with hormonal swings are eating for two, pregnancy cravings are legit. So, while the weight loss industry is pervasive and unrelenting, pregnancy is sometimes seen as a rare hall pass to eat Whatever. You. Want.

There are a million theories about why pregnant women experience such intense cravings. And there’s a difference of opinion about why we’re suddenly drawn to something we’ve never liked before. Either it’s 1. a product of our weird relationship with food and we want foods that were previously off-limits, or 2. a specific food contains some element your body needs. One proven reason we crave these foods is that our sense of smell and taste, like so many of our body parts, evolve over the course of our pregnancy.

Pregnancy Cravings Are Common

Let’s cover this first: you are not alone. Approximately 50-90% of expecting mothers report a craving for a specific food during pregnancy. Other than pregnancy, the week before your period marks a time where caution about what we eat might be thrown to the wind. The body wants what the body wants, and I want two pounds of chocolate and a milkshake, is that too much to ask for?

Why We Crave Certain Foods is Anyone’s Guess

There’s differing theories about why pregnancy cravings happen. The first says that there’s too many reasons, emotional and hormonal, that you’re better off not worrying about the why. The second theory is to outright blame pregnancy hormones (always the easiest to blame). And we’re no stranger to how crazy those are.

 A third theory is that pregnancy cravings are your body’s innate knowledge of what it needs. Nowadays this might be more along the lines of what’s called intuitive eating. This isn’t so far fetched when you take into consideration how crazy it is that women can sync up their periods just by being together (sounds weirder every time we say it).

 All goes to say, nobody has a direct answer as to why pregnancy cravings are a thing.

Beware of Emotional Eating

If emotions influence when, what, and how much you’re eating, it’s worth asking yourself if you’re an emotional eater. One sign is that you feel guilt or shame after eating. Another is that you turn to a specific food when emotions overwhelm you. Emotional eaters often find they don’t remember the process of eating and in rapid succession go from the first bite to an empty plate.

Redirection is an underutilized tool when it comes to emotional eating (and parenting, but that’s for another time). One piece of advice is to make a list of things you can do that don’t revolve around food. Or try to identify the exact emotion and make sure your snacking alternative satisfies it. So if you crave comfort, snuggle up with a book, call a friend, draw a bath, go for a walk (or waddle) or call an old friend (seriously, when was the last time you called and didn’t text?). Another approach you can try is intuitive eating, which is based off of the idea that you shouldn’t restrict yourself (but in turn, learn: 1. how to read what your body is craving, 2. when you should stop eating, and 3. what foods nourish and feel good to eat, as opposed to ones that bloat you or make you feel icky).

You’re Eating What Your Body Needs 

There are a few categories of pregnancy cravings that deserve attention not only because they’re satisfying but because they could indicate that your body is making the right choice for you.

First up is our favorite, cheese. A craving for large amounts of cheese might be your body telling you it’s lacking calcium. So have your cheese but also mix in other calcium-rich foods like seeds, yogurt, almonds, and dark leafy greens.

Next, chocolate. Good news: in moderation, dark chocolate is actually beneficial for pregnancies. This has been proven in many, many studies. Benefits include reducing the risk of blood pressure, and improving blood flow to baby and to mama.

Spices - You may have heard that spicy foods like Thai or Mexican become more appealing during pregnancy. When you’re pregnant, your core body temperature rises. Extra spicy pad Thai = sweat = a lower body temperature. Way to self regulate!

Meats - While it’s not recommended to eat raw or pink meat during pregnancy, eating medium-well or well-done meat is totally fine while pregnant. If you’re feeling especially carnivorous, it may mean your body needs more protein or iron.

Citruses - Some of you, when pregnant, may want to eat a lemon-like it’s an apple (no judgment here). Because hormonal changes wreak havoc on our taste buds, salty foods may become saltier while bitter or sour foods become less so. Try sipping lemon water to help digestion, reduce constipation, lower blood pressure, and pack in the Vitamin C. Just don’t overdo it as lemon’s acidic nature could take you on a trip to heartburn city.

When Your Pregnancy Cravings Strike At:

Home: Boil some eggs, steam some vegetables and throw in a little salsa. You know there’s always a jar in the back far right (or is that just us)? 

On the road: Take a pass on those Doritos and other salty snacks and satisfy that craving with dried fruit or a fresh apple.

 Going Out to Eat: At an Italian restaurant, opt for a green salad and pasta with veggies and skip the white sauces. Cream-based sauces, heavy in butter, could trigger acid reflux, common during pregnancy because of increased levels of progesterone that slows digestion.

Pho, a Vietnamese staple, is delicious and nutritious but skip the bean sprouts (if raw, they can carry salmonella, listeria, or e-coli), and don’t order your meats rare in case they don’t cook enough in the broth. 

Grocery Store: Nut butters, hummus, bagged carrots, and bagged salads with dark leafy greens will be your go-to. Leafy dark greens are packed with magnesium that will help your baby’s teeth and bones. Other magnesium-rich options are pumpkin seeds/sunflower seeds, brown rice, quinoa, squash, beans, and lentils.

Clean Body, Clean Mind - A Simple Pre-Pregnancy Detox

Let’s be honest: there’s no perfect time to stop drinking wine during the week, binge-watching Netflix, and eating pasta like it’s your job. But when you see that plus sign on your pregnancy test, you’ll wish you started thinking about it sooner. Alcohol, caffeine, meat, and sugar are extremely addictive so it’s good to have a plan before you just pop that first prenatal vitamin hoping it’ll cancel out all your bad habits. Negative thoughts, self-doubt and not being able to say no will interfere with motherhood, so we’re here to help with that, too.

Another reason to commit to a pre-pregnancy detox is that 40% of pregnancies in the U.S. are unintended. Crazy, right? Many women don’t even realize they are pregnant until they are six or eight weeks along if their periods are already irregular.

How to Swap Foods If Needed:

We want to preface this by saying: every woman’s pregnancy is different! Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to cut out everything we talk about below, so make sure you consult your doctor first. The topics below provide some alternatives if you do have to make these changes!

Alcohol & Caffeine

With advancements in shrubs and kombucha, we now have so many more non-alcoholic options than your mother’s soda water. Tea is a great coffee substitution with half the caffeine of coffee. Just a six-minute drive from Glow Chicago brings you to Rare Tea Cellar with enough tea blends and varieties to make your head spin (in a healthy, non-drunk way). If you’re in the Oakland area, and bubble tea and smoothies are more your speed, RareTea Oakland is only 5 minutes from Glow Oakland.

Sugar

The daily recommendation for sugar for a female is 25 grams. One fruit-flavored non-fat yogurt is 47 grams! Even if a food label doesn’t have sugar, it usually has a substitute and your body doesn’t know the difference. Honey, or agave, are acceptable substitutes when you’re baking, but otherwise, try to limit any added sugar. After all, fruits have sugar too, albeit natural. Low sugar fruits are blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries whereas cherries and bananas are high sugar fruits.

Time for a Mental Detox

Let’s get your mind right so you can be an attentive, connected mama. If you’re grappling with limiting beliefs about yourself, find it hard to set boundaries, or find yourself caught in a negative thought loop - we’re here to help.

Comparison is usually the culprit that knocks on our door when hormones are raging. Nowadays, comparison can come in many forms: through social media, personal relationships, and stories you hear about what everyone else is doing during their pregnancy. Let’s start here: detox your social media. If you thought you were self-conscious before, it’ll only continue to get worse while you’re carrying a baby, gaining weight, having crazy mood swings/ cravings, etc. The reality is, we don’t need to follow people who bring us negative energy. On the flip side, there are so many models and figures on Instagram now that focus on body positivity, transparency, and bring women encouragement. Try to unfollow anyone who doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. You have no reason to follow them, anyway.

Next,

if you have friendships that no longer serve you, this is a perfect time (and excuse) to let that person go. Boundary setting is easier with preparation, so practice all the ways to say no when you don’t want to do something.

If positive psychology seems like a “fake it till you make it” philosophy that you can’t get behind - we feel you. Instead, challenge your negative thoughts. As soon as you think, “I look awful” ask yourself, “how is saying this to myself helpful?”.

Thinking of “giving up” foods, friendships and thoughts aren’t always easy. We’re here to challenge you: try to put yourself (and your little one) first for once. You should never feel bad about prioritizing yourself during such an important time in your life. Rid all the negativity, and bring in as much light and positivity as possible. Happiness is the best detox of all.

Eating According to Chinese Medicine: Are Salads Bad for You?

Our belly is our “fire” that we must keep stoking and burning at just the right temperature to maintain a warm and inviting home... says Chinese Medicine. So, what’s all the fuss- is Chinese Medicine something worth listening to?  

For pregnant mamas, our body is a home for our little ones, so what we fuel our fire with is so important. According to Ayurveda, every food has an innate potency of either hot or Ushna, or cold, Shita. These classifications have nothing to do with whether food is kept at room temperature or chilled in the fridge. Instead, each food we eat either cools or heats our digestive system.

Maintaining a balance of hot and cold foods is important because hot foods are believed to aid our digestive system and cold foods nourish and strengthen our bodies.

Just as acupuncture may help women become pregnant (or induce them into labor), other tenets of Eastern medicine (like eating to maintain your body’s balance) may help you feel nourished during your pregnancy.

What Foods are “Cold”?

Examples of cold foods include:

• Asparagus

• Apples

• Bananas

• Cauliflower

• Coconut

• Cucumbers

• Eggplants

• Egg whites

• Fennel

• Grapes

• Lettuce

• Lychee

• Mango

• Mushroom

• Melons

• Oranges

• Pumpkin

• Pears

• Spinach

• Strawberries

• Tofu

• Tomatoes

Remember, cold has nothing to do with temperature but rather the cooling effect the food has on your body’s digestive system. Cold foods refresh us when the temperature outside is hot, but they are generally harder to digest. They can restrict digestion and make the immune system less active.

 A quick glance at the list above reveals many ingredients that make up a delicious salad. However, eating all of these foods raw goes against Aruyedic traditions that have served the  Chinese well for over 2,500 years. A popular notion in Chinese medicine is to “Keep Your Stomach and Spleen at 100 Degrees”. All of us, and especially pregnant mamas, can do this by eating less “cold and raw food” and eating more foods that are cold, but slightly cooked.

So What About That Salad?

A grilled salad? Really? Absolutely. Practitioners of Ayurveda heat up cold foods because our bodies are able to extract more nutrients from slightly cooked foods rather than raw foods.

This practice does have its detractors, namely raw food advocates who claim uncooked foods are more nutritious than cooked foods because enzymes, along with some nutrients, are destroyed in the cooking process. Proponents of raw food diets argue that lack of enzymes stresses your body. However, there are no scientific studies to support this claim or even to show that food enzymes contribute to better health.

Whether you lose out on nutrients or not really depends on HOW you’re cooking your cold foods. Boiling results in the biggest loss of nutrients but stir-frying, roasting, and steaming are better ways to keep the nutrients on your plate. Also, remember the “slightly cooked” part and keep your burner low enough to lock in the nutrients. Cooking raw foods with excessive heat can lead to oxidation (or in nonscientific terms, a loss of energy, and in the case of food, nutrients give us energy). Although consuming copious amounts of water is usually a good thing on its own, steaming foods with too much water can dissolve the nutrients in cold foods.

Do you believe that certain foods have the power to induce labor quicker? Check out an article in our library titled, Do These 3 Foods Actually Induce You?

What Foods are Especially Good for Stoking the Fire in Your Belly?

Now that you understand more about cold foods and how to prepare them, what is so special about some of the specific foods Aruyvedic practitioners recommend?

According to Josie Bouchier, acupuncturist and holistic women's health expert, spinach nourishes the blood (and you’re pumping for two!) strengthens organs, treats constipation, is high in folate, and is simple to add into dishes and smoothies. Eggs, meanwhile, nourish the blood, calm the mind, harmonize digestion, and are a wonderful source of protein and iron.

Pregnancy and Protein

Because women tend to tinker with their diets more than men, we’re more likely to be deficient in many nutrients. Protein is no exception with most women falling woefully short of recommended guidelines. To figure out how many grams you need, take your weight and multiply it by .36. So, a 165-pound woman needs 59 grams. Mamas-to-be need to ramp that up to 75 grams or three servings every single day. Mamas who are more active or who are 35 + need to pack in the highest levels of protein.

(Telltale signs you may already be operating at a protein deficit are puffy skin and brittle hair and nails).

You have enough to take care of bringing life into this world so instead of trying to concoct intricate protein-rich meals, choose snacks like peanut butter, Hippeas, or fresh chickpeas, and hummus paired with veggies.

Best All-Around Cold Food

If we had to pick one powerhouse “cold” food, it would definitely be bananas. They regulate blood sugar and are full of potassium, Vitamin C, and fiber. Potassium helps to lower blood pressure and fiber aids digestion. Vitamin C helps boost a strong immune system - so important while you’re pregnant and especially when we’re still dealing with a worldwide pandemic.

Nutritional Benefits Are Only the Beginning

Just as you and your baby can benefit from a diet of equal parts “cold” and “hot” foods, there are also emotional advantages to Chinese medicine. Eastern traditions of meditation, yoga, and massage are healthy and healing practices for pregnant women dealing with the ups and downs of gestation.

Ultimately, ask yourself if you are fueling your mind, body, and soul or if you are reacting to what’s happening around you. A proactive and prepared pregnancy mindset is so beneficial for you and your baby now and into the future.

Do These 3 Foods Actually Induce You?

Alright, so just about every scientific study about going into labor seems to be contradictory. When hormones are raging, searching Google for medical advice is the last thing anyone should be doing. Trust me, you’ll pull your hair out (or end up snorting wasabi). It’s no different than those news headlines about eggs or coffee swinging wildly back and forth between “good for you” and “cut it out of your diet completely”. Anyone else just gets confused? Same. Also, please don’t snort wasabi.

So let’s preface this article by saying: there’s no ruling evidence that these foods absolutely induce you. They work for some women, they don’t for others. It’s interesting to try though, and we will say: there’s a pretty high success rate for some of these.

P.S. - if you’re in the Oakland area, try the Prego Pizza from Skipolini’s Pizza. Unsure of the method here - it could be to replace your baby with a pizza baby, seeing as there are 13 toppings on this pizza. Worth a try!

And if you’re in the Los Angeles area, you’ve probably heard of the famous Maternity Salad from Caioti Pizza Cafe. They see sometimes 30 pregnant women each day, flocking from all over in hopes of this magic salad inducing them.  

For some more accessible foods available at any grocery store, below are three foods rumored to induce labor chosen based on their nutrient value.

Pineapple: Is it a Miracle Inducer?

Pineapple is positively packed with nutrients, antioxidants, and other helpful compounds and enzymes to fight inflammation and disease. Just one cup of pineapple equals 131% of the daily recommendation of Vitamin C. Can we say pineapple is the new orange? 

Vitamin C is especially beneficial, promoting growth and development, a healthy immune system, and iron absorption. Pregnancy hormones wreak havoc on mama’s digestive system so snacking on pineapple, containing digestive enzymes called bromelaina, means you are a little less likely to turn to Tums or Maalox.

Pineapple shouldn’t be eaten as if it’s candy (or wine, right?). It’s high in sugar and with a pH of 3.3 to 5.2, very acidic. Acidic foods only intensify pregnancy-related heartburn and acid reflux. Too much bromelain may lead to diarrhea or cramping, which may be mistaken for the beginning of labor.  

A study showing that pineapple extract caused uterine contractions is dampened by the fact that extract was applied directly to the uterus, a result without much practical application.

Not only is it better to eat nutrient-rich foods during your pregnancy, stocking up on the RIGHT vitamins and minerals is also essential to ensure that both you and baby’s health are at their most optimal levels. Probiotics are a key part of that regimen… read more about it here!

Dates on your due date?

Dates are high in fiber with natural fructose keeping you happy and energetic. Nature’s broom, anyone? Dates are also a source of folate, which helps reduce the likelihood of birth defects. These Middle Eastern delights are high in iron and vitamin K, boosting your energy levels and fighting anemia. In addition, vitamin K helps a growing baby develop strong bones, and it can improve your muscle and nerve function. 

In a 2011 study, researchers had 69 pregnant women eat six dates a day for 4 weeks leading up to their estimated delivery dates. The study also included 45 pregnant women who didn’t eat any dates prior to their delivery dates.

Date-eating mamas had significantly higher cervical dilatation than those who abstained and spontaneous labor occurred in 96% of those who consumed dates, compared with 79% women in the non-date eating bunch.

Raspberry Tea Leaves:

Red raspberry tea is an excellent source of magnesium, calcium and antioxidants, and potassium. It has been called a “natural Pitocin” by many but despite anecdotal evidence, there isn’t much scientific support. Drinking too much may have a diuretic effect so sip with caution. Unless you’re near a loo, then you do you!

Final Thoughts:

Due to moral and ethical concerns of testing on pregnant women, scientific evidence will always be sparse. The power of suggestion and friend and family’s stories may tempt us to try these foods but unless you have a medical reason to induce, patience is always a wise prescription.

Why Does Sex Hurt During Pregnancy?

Read the full article on Romper.com

”Even when you want to have pregnancy sex, sometimes your body just isn’t having it.”

“Throughout the nine-month period where there is a baby growing inside of your womb, experiencing some pain is absolutely expected. But why does sex hurt during pregnancy? You expected a sore back and body aches, but painful intercourse can also be one of the less pleasant side effects of pregnancy.

The pain that comes from pregnancy sex can be described in so many ways. You may feel pressure, shooting pains, sharp pain, or soreness. The thing about pregnancy is that your body is undergoing dramatic changes rather quickly, and all of these changes can contribute to feeling discomfort during sex. Read on to see a breakdown of what experts say can cause sex — something that used to feel amazing — to hurt during pregnancy.”

Here's How Your Clitoris Could Be Impacted By Childbirth & Pregnancy

Read the full article on Romper.com

(Honestly, you don’t have to panic though.)

“It’s no secret that your body will change when you have a child. Things feel different, your skin breaks out, stretch marks appear, and even your hair can change. But it's impossible to talk about bodily changes without mentioning what happens to your genitals. Like does your clitoris change after pregnancy? Because it sure took a beating if you had a vaginal birth. (And honestly, it probably changed throughout pregnancy, too.)”

How to Do Perineal Massage: An Expectant Father's Guide

Read the full article on Fatherly.com.

“Dads-to-be can help their partners achieve an easier and less painful delivery”

“For most of a woman’s life, the perineum tends to be just another part of the pelvic floor — a fleshy, muscular space between the anus and vaginal opening that’s taken for granted at spin class. But the perineum is a crucial anatomical player in childbirth. So much so that perineal massage, applied regularly in the later stages of pregnancy can lead to an easier and less painful delivery. And the good news for expectant fathers? They’re in the unique position of being able to offer perineal massage and connect with their partner in the process.”

Prenatal Massage 101: Techniques to Soothe Your Pregnant Partner

Read the full article on Fatherly Yahoo! LIFE MSN LIFESTYLE

“There’s no reason for dads to freak out about offering their partner some healing touch…”

“Prenatal massage is helpful to ease the muscular and skeletal strain pregnant women experience as they grow a new human inside of them. But most massages take two — the massaged and the masseur. Luckily, for many moms-to-be (particularly during a pandemic), there’s an extra set of magic hands in the house, attached to their loving partner. The even better news is when expecting parents engage in prenatal massage not only does it provide relief for minor pregnancy discomforts, it also helps fathers-to-be build connection, intimacy, and awareness with their partner and their unborn child.

Importantly, mothers-to-be can, and should, get a massage from the very beginning of pregnancy, as long as it does not include vigorous abdominal pressure, according to prenatal massage therapist and doula Sara Lyon, founder of Glow Birth & Body prenatal massage spas.”

Your Guide to Self Massage

Original article posted on The Good Trade.

“There’s no denying the importance of touch. Skin-to-skin contact is encouraged immediately once babies are born (as it helps regulate the newborn’s temperature, heart rate, and breathing). For a wide range of living organisms—from worms to humans—studies have shown touch to be an essential modality for both growth and development. And touch has also been proven to reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, improve sleep, regulate digestion, and help us empathize.”

Thoughts on Raising (and Teaching) Children during COVID

Touching on the social dynamics of children going to school online and on Zoom…

You have a front-row view of shifts in your child that you’ve seen pre-pandemic to now: but how can parents identify alarming changes and help combat the effects of COVID on children? Read below for some thoughts on how COVID might be affecting your children, and tips on how to help out.

Zoom is the New Playground

We spoke with Stephanie Juarez, a working mom in the Southern California area, who has noticed major changes in her son, who is 17 years old. She recalls that before COVID, her son was on the shy side- but luckily his Sophomore year of high school was becoming a breakthrough. “He joined the water polo team and we finally felt like he was improving his social skills, making friends, and was the happiest we’d seen him. Before that, his interests were in video games or activities that isolated him”. She told us the first few weeks of lockdown were easy for her son; his friends would keep up via FaceTime, Call of Duty (an extremely popular Xbox game among teenage boys), or the occasional phone call.

But as time went on, week after week on Zoom school, her son began to take some steps backward and was showing signs of burnout. Although he started with a strong desire to get back into water polo and wanted to keep up with his high school friends, these were soon replaced by mood changes which led him into isolation. Stephanie recalls her and her husband purchasing a VR toy that he hadn’t picked up in months. “I’ll never forget the moment he picked up that headset for the first time in months. We were devastated- but what can you do? Of course, we set limits and encourage him to do other things, but to see him shift so quickly back to his ‘virtual world’ was heartbreaking. Kids don’t know how to cope with what’s going on.”

One recommendation that Stephanie said helped her was more intentional family time. She said she let her two children pick meals each week and would involve them in cooking. Dad would bring them outside more on neighborhood walks. And they even started watching movies together. She also called up a few other moms from school and set up social distance play dates, which she feels has helped her son a lot.

Loss of a Routine

 Does your family (among many others) rely on resources like sports, summer camps, after-school daycare, and general activities to keep your children active (and you sane while you’re working)? Chances are those programs haven’t started back up, and if they have, they’re a lot shorter than they were before. Kids used to be learning how to schedule their lives: school, then sports, then bath time, dinner, and bed, etc. Now, we expect them to say “use this meeting password at 12:15, then log off at 1:15, and go back on at 1:30 while mama is working”? If your kid is anywhere under the age of 5, good luck. Creating an at home school schedule is virtually impossible, but here are our tips on how to keep it controlled:

If you’re also working from home, (if your schedule permits), try creating a fun activity for your kid called “walk to class”. Getting up and moving will help their attention span, and this will make it fun. Get up from their workspace, walk outside or upstairs, and turn back around. Then, diiiing! The next class is in session! Additionally, call on other members of the household to help start your little ones Zoom classes, so you’re not on duty 24/7. Last resort, try forming a study “pod”- this is where a few mothers will hire a tutor to monitor a few kids at a time while they attend school.

We also loved this article that shares tips and tricks for even the most distracted children… It’s something new for children, teachers, and parents, so try to remain flexible and patient! Read the full article here.

Inability to Become Inspired

Kids aren’t used to learning in isolation; it’s just not natural. The moments of asking a friend next to you what the teacher said or raising your hand to have your teacher check your work are nonexistent. Studies have shown that kids who felt like they had friends and supportive teachers thought school was more interesting, which made them more engaged and perform better. Recess is the best part of school, and without that- it makes the incentives much lower for kids to pay attention.

How to cope with this: try engaging more than usual in your child’s schoolwork. If you can help make up for their lack of in-school support, they’ll at least know someone cares. Even though 2nd-grade spelling can be the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day, it will have wonderful effects and lead to positive reinforcement for your children.

Lack of Exercise

Okay, P.E. over Zoom? Give us a break. Kids can hardly pay attention for 10 minutes over Zoom, let alone doing a form of exercise indoors. Parents, now is the time to dust off your workout gear and get some movement in with your kids. Children are not meant to sit in front of a computer all day: this not only affects their mental health, but also their bodies. Your kids need a break from screen-time. Studies have shown that children who have too much screen time don’t sleep as well, develop blurry vision, and have dry, irritated eyes.

Here are some solutions: monitor unnecessary screen time. Take into consideration how long their classes are and try to get them off the screen in between (but still allow them to socialize when school is done!). Also, take those smart devices out of their bedrooms, because they can make sleep a hard time. Lastly, try getting them outdoors for a daily walk or bit of exercise so they can release some of that energy. 

Stress and Anxiety 

It’s no surprise that kids have already shown much higher levels of stress and anxiety since the pandemic began. Parents are much more in tune with children, many of which have begun taking away more screen time or social media out of concern. It’s important to realize it’s inevitable to have more screen time right now because it’s the only way our kids can stay connected. Those who can’t talk to friends at all can easily become lonely, or even depressed.

Make sure you check in with your child once every day. Make mental health a priority in your household, and learn to talk about feelings. The best thing is to stay in tune with yourself, your partner, and your children. You never know how someone is coping with this pandemic. Try to make the most of it by being there for each other through these tough times. Our community is here for you, too.

International Women's Month: Celebrating Strong Mothers Who Endured COVID Pregnancies

Ahh… March. It’s a special one! The beginning of Spring, Daylight Savings (for some of us!), and of course, that special week you get extra time with kids- Spring Break. On top of all of this, in the past few years, women have come together more than ever to fight for women’s equality.

As you may know- March is International Women’s Month. Today, we wanted to feature a couple of moms who were pregnant throughout COVID, and in our eyes are absolute superstars. Pregnancy was already hard enough; throw a pandemic on top of it and now we’re in uncharted territory. Women are going to appointments alone, not having the opportunity to celebrate with family, and some aren’t even able to have their partners in the delivery room. Suddenly, the days where we struggled to pick out items in our nurseries are overshadowed by much larger problems.

If you’ve had any part of your pregnancy during this pandemic, we want to start by saying: you are incredible and we are in awe of you. So what better way to celebrate Women’s Month than to feature a story of an incredible mom who went into lockdown the week after she announced her pregnancy to her family? Below is our conversation with Bobbie Marlow, a 35-year-old mother of two beautiful boys.

Before we talk all about your pregnancy journey, I wanted to first congratulate you on your beautiful baby boy, Harry! What do you think has been the most surprising thing about being a mother this past (five) months?

Thank you, thank you! Well, there’s certainly one thing that hasn’t changed with this pregnancy: I haven’t had any sleep. Babies are just programmed to keep us chronically awake, I think.

But yeah, obviously we had baby Harry in the middle of a pandemic so pretty much everything has changed this time around. There are definitely silver linings, as well as drawbacks. I think the thing that’s been the most different this time around is that I’ve had my husband at home so much these past 5 months since he’s working from home. He’s still on calls the whole day, but having him be able to take a 15-minute break here and there, and do lunches at home has made a huge difference. I work from home too so it’s allowed me a little extra work time, or a quick ride on the Peloton when he can watch the baby.

So take me back to the very beginning. It was February of last year, and you found out you were pregnant- how exciting!

Yes! I found out we were pregnant in early February, so I was due in November. I only had a month of my pregnancy before we went into lockdown. Not to mention, we didn’t even find out until a couple of weeks before California shut down.

 You had just told your family you were pregnant, and a week later, suddenly the world was on lockdown. Most of us were fighting for toilet paper and food. What did that time look like when you were just starting your pregnancy?

Oh, gosh. It was nothing like I was expecting my pregnancy to be like. We’d just gotten back from a trip to Mexico when we found out we were pregnant, and of course, in those two weeks, I had so many things going through my head. What gender was the baby, how would we tell my family, what would the gender reveal look like, how would I decorate their room, and of course- where would I go for my babymoon?

So then, a week before the pandemic, I told my immediate family I was pregnant. My parents, my sister and her husband, and my little brother. I’d been wanting another baby for so long. Obviously, I’d heard about COVID-19, but I didn’t think much would come of it. Then, on March 16th, California went into full lockdown. I had no idea what to think. I was terrified. We were lucky enough to find a grocery store that had a good amount of things that my husband went to, and he stocked up on some diapers and Lysol. We wiped everything down and he immediately took a shower and we bleached his clothes. Luckily we had a couple of paint masks in our garage because I called 17 stores around us- no exaggeration- and they were all sold out.

The pandemic has been an unprecedented time for everyone, especially mothers-to-be. The thoughts and challenges traditionally associated with pregnancy have been exacerbated ten-fold, bringing on waves of stress and anxiety and leaving expectant couples with more questions than answers. But, we have you covered in our article, Coping with Pregnancy Anxiety During a Pandemic, where we speak on ways to overcome these negative feelings by offering a few simple daily changes that have the ability to alter your pregnancy experience for the better.

That must have been terrifying. Once the shock settled in and you realized, okay, we’re going to be shut down for a while- what went through your mind?

Of course, my main fear was somehow getting the virus and something happening to my baby. On a smaller level, I was concerned about getting food, diapers, and sanitizer for the house. I had no idea what was going on or what to think, and pretty much went into panic mode. Not only was I providing for myself, but also a tiny baby who certainly couldn’t fight off a virus-like what I was seeing on the news. I was also afraid for my 3.5-year-old, and my husband. This was when we were watching the news hourly and hearing devastating stories of young families who were getting the virus severely enough that they were on ventilators. It was devastating and the scariest thing to watch- I mean, we were all watching it unfold just waiting for answers.

What do you think were the main differences between your first and second pregnancies?

I think any person that was pregnant at the beginning of the pandemic can acknowledge there are so many things we’ve taken for granted in our perception of pregnancy. With my last pregnancy, my biggest concerns were the color I’d paint the nursery, or how I’d announce my pregnancy on social media. Now, I was just praying my husband could be in the delivery room to see our baby.

Was your husband able to go to all your appointments? Was there any talk of him not being able to be present at the birth?

Oh gosh, yes. There was so much uncertainly in the beginning. I just remember hearing stories about women, specifically in New York, that weren’t able to have their husbands in the delivery room. I had nightmares about it, wondering how I’d do it on my own. I couldn’t imagine having him drop me off and not being able to be present at the birth. I was extremely lucky though because he was able to be at the birth.

I think the saddest moment we had is when we realized he wasn’t going to be present for the gender reveal appointment. So that’s when we decided we wanted to keep the gender a secret until the baby was born, so we could enjoy that moment together. It also gave us something to look forward to during such a dark time. 

How did your support system work throughout covid? I know you have a pretty close family that was very present during your other pregnancy; this time around, were they able to support you from afar?

Again, really lucky in this department because my family lives very local to me. My parents had hired a shopper for themselves, my sister, and I (my parents are in their 70s, and my sister is in a high-risk category). The choices at the store were nonexistent; it was like, take whatever you can get.  We also live near some farms, so I was able to coordinate a few pick-ups. My family tried to make the best of it. A couple of nights a week we would all make the same dinner and send each other photos and eat at the same time. That really kept me going and made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

My parents also have a backyard, so we drove over and sat on chairs about 30 feet from them and talked to them once a week. I recognize how lucky I was to have this experience though because a lot of my friends didn’t.

What was your secret to keeping such a good mindset through such a dark time?

To be honest, seeing how the world was coming together during such a terrible time gave me hope. I was so convinced that someone would find a vaccine soon. I was also tremendously inspired by healthcare and frontline workers. I thought to myself, if they can work on the front lines and risk their lives to keep our world running, I can get through this pregnancy that I have the privilege of sitting at home for.

Were there any silver linings in having your pregnancy at this time? 

Absolutely. I definitely had more time to focus on important things like staying in tune with my body and my baby during the pregnancy. I had more time at home with my husband, more time with my 3-year-old before there was a new addition to the mix, and was constantly surprised by how everyone continued to show up for me. I felt like the world was going through it together, and I wasn’t alone.

Keeping Pregnancy Sexy: A List of Dates, Positions & Wellness Tips to Spice Things Up

Pregnancy: it might not be something you naturally think of as sexy. Lucky for you, though, most partners will find a new adoration for you after seeing your body carry and grow a child. While it may not seem like the hottest thing while watching models strut during NYFW- we’ve got some tips to help you, and your partner, feel sexy during pregnancy.

At-Home Dates To Try Now

Get Massages. Have a masseuse come to your house and give you a couples massage. And yes, they come with their own tables! Alternatively, take turns giving massages with your partner. Candles and massage oil required. No skimping here!

Go on a Picnic. A handful of picnic companies have been popping up to address the restaurant closures this year. Whether you want to hire one, or set it up yourself, it’s the perfect weekend activity. Tips for setting up your own picnic: brings blankets, pillows, Trader Joes cheeses, and a low table if possible. Don’t forget a speaker with some French Jazz in the background. Go around sunset, and voila!

Indulge in all your favorite foods. Pregnancy cravings are real. So why not have a night devoted to fulfilling them? Order all of you and your partner’s favorite guilty cravings. Enjoy with a movie! Alternatively, if you’re feeling up to it, get in the car and play rock paper scissors- the first to win picks the restaurant to pick up appetizers from. Play again. The second winner picks entrees. Next, dessert!

Go on a Babymoon. Traveling right now is starting to ease up, but still take precautions and stay within your comfort zone/ city requirements- several Airbnb’s have reopened with strict cleaning protocols. Have a lowkey babymoon locally. Bring cleaning supplies, pillow cases, slippers, and your own toiletries to be extra clean when walking around the unit!

Have a Game Night. We’re huge fans of We’re Not Really Strangers. If you don’t own it already, buy it and the relationship expansion Pack. Write down some of your favorite answers and cherish this alone time you have with your partner before the baby arrives.

Sex Positions

The Spoon. Lie down on your side and have your partner enter from behind. It’s low impact on your belly and bladder, and easy on the tummy during any trimester. Some even say it’s the best position for the third trimester!

Edge of the Bed. Liie down, face-up on the edge of the bed. Have your partner sit on his knees and enter from that position. This way, you can control the movement and also sit comfortably!

Standing. Have your partner stand behind you. Can be done in the shower, hallway, kitchen… You name it. Go at it, mama!

Go on the Bottom. Yes, you heard us right! Sex while being on bottom doesn’t have to be high impact on your baby. Put a pillow under your hips to prop yourself up. You can also put your hands on your partner’s hips to begin if you’re worried about them going too deep. Once you get into a flow, your pelvic muscles will relax, and you can remove your hands as a guard.  

A little uneasy about getting going again in bedroom? We’ve got you covered. Read our article where we get down and dirty, answering all of the sex-while-pregnant questions you might be too afraid to ask.

Wellness Tips

Prenatal Vitamins

Don’t get us started. Okay, never mind, get us started. Prenatals are something you should absolutely take, but please research them. The amount of variation in each vitamin is, quite frankly, surprising- and unfortunately some doctors don’t fully know what’s in the ones they’re recommending. On a trip to the drugstore, you’ll see that some have B12 levels of 100, and others ranged all the way up to 3,500 percent of the recommended daily dose. In other words, they’re all over the place.

 One thing to keep on your radar is any trace of heavy metals; even in small, small amounts, they have been linked to decreased growth in infants, decreased I.Q., and developmental problems, and can be found in prenatal vitamins. Do your research (but ultimately trust your practitioner’s advice!).

Here are some prenatal vitamins we recommend:

1. Ritual Essential Prenatal Vitamins: The next-generation prenatal with 12 key nutrients for before and during pregnancy.

2. Pure Encapsulation PreNatal Nutrients Vitamins: A multivitamin/mineral complex for pregnancy and lactation  

Affection 

Love changes and travels through stages during life. The love we experienced as a teenager, the love we experience with our friends and family, and the love we experience with our life partner all correlate but intensely vary. Love, too, goes through changes during pregnancy. There’s a lot of new feelings in the mix, but most importantly- the addition of a new member to the family.

Did you ever have a moment where you felt left out, or the third wheel when you were in high school? Yep, us too. We’ve all been there, and it’s not a great feeling. Oddly enough, the bond you have with your baby growing is different than the one your partner is feeling- naturally, it’s because you’re the one growing the baby! Partners can feel intimidated or even left out – after all, they don’t have the same inner relationship that you have. And on top of that, they might be missing out on some affection from you.

Studies have shown that mothers are able to fulfill their sense of intimacy through contact with their children, which leaves partners feeling abandoned at times. Your first trimester may bring nausea, fears of miscarriage, and general discomfort- so don’t stress yourself out. But try to keep in mind that your partner, too, needs affection during the process.

Exercise 

Cherish the beginning of your pregnancy; don’t push yourself to exercise before you’re ready. Everything is always about balance, so it’s key to listen to your body through your pregnancy. While being pregnant, you’re going to have to tap into a whole new set of skills to feel what your body is going through. Whether you were an athlete and frequent exerciser prior to pregnancy or never hit the gym, there is one rule we require here: you will only start working out when and how your practitioner allows you to. And past that, it’ll be all about you and listening to what your body needs. Also, remember to redefine what “exercise” is while pregnant. For many, this can mean just taking walks and moving around. It doesn’t mean a full Barry’s class!

Intimacy 

Mama, you need sex! Yes, you heard us right. No, your baby will not feel it, the semen will not poison it, and you will be totally okay (of course, this is assuming a normal pregnancy, so please consult with your practitioner). But sex is essential for you to enjoy yourself and remain connected with your partner. Try exploring this through touch, massages, and connecting if you’re not “in the mood”. Expect to not feel sexy during your first trimester- which is totally okay. Talk it through with your partner and find joy in the new ways of connecting.

Nesting 101: Is My Partner Nesting?

Getting ready for your baby’s debut is quite the process and brings out a lot in everyone. From that one friend who overdoes it with the gifts (we know she’s dying to be the godmother), the in-laws that pawn all their age-old pregnancy tips and stories on you, to your very own partner: I mean, did they really need to spend 6 hours reading about car seat safety?

The fact of the matter is, parents react in different ways with the idea of being in charge of another human. Whether it’s because they can hardly choose one outfit, let alone two every morning- or they’re thinking about how to feed another- it’s natural to fiercely prepare for your baby’s arrival. Enter: nesting mode.

Nesting is a natural, parental instinct that kicks in during pregnancy. It’s the voice in the back of your head that says your baby is going to hate that new wallpaper you just installed, so naturally, you rip it out and start over again. It’s the voice that causes fear when choosing the safest crib with the best reviews. And it’s all completely natural. You’re growing the most beautiful thing inside of you and of course, you want to protect it with your whole being. But what about your partner? Is it expected for them to enter nesting mode?

Yes. Yes yes yes. Bonding with the baby can start long before its arrival, even for your partner. It’s something that you should cherish and encourage because even though it can seem a little too much, you’ll be thankful for the extra help when you get into your third trimester, and right after birth. You can never be too prepared.

If you’re a partner and nesting isn’t coming naturally to you, here are some things you can do:

Accompany mama to her checkups and ultrasounds. During COVID this is a little tougher, but if you can’t make it in, at least drive her there and provide emotional support. You’ll love being part of the process.

Celebrate the milestones. You’ve probably done anniversaries, so why not treat pregnancy milestones the same way? Mama is probably having a tough time (it’s a lot of stress on her body!) so celebrate her, her body, and your baby by keeping track of different milestones. A great app for this is WebMD Pregnancy.

Ask mama how you can help around the house to prepare. After creating a registry, or your dream nursery, see what you can do to help. Whether that’s breaking down boxes of gifts that come in, helping keep everything tidy, or building the crib when it gets there; helping set up the space will be a huge help, and you can get involved in the design of it too! 

We know that sometimes, change isn’t always easy… and having those immediate, parental instincts don’t always occur naturally. But hey, don’t sweat it! To better develop them, we recommend diving deeper to understand the true changes that happen to the body during pregnancy, and how those changes might lead to new transitions within your relationship. Read more here, where we describe many of the changes you go through during the process - everything from emotions to relationships.

Research safety. Okay, we joked about it above, but you can take the weight off mom’s shoulders by researching things for her. When pregnant, it’s easy to research things and become fearful about everything; sometimes it’s nice to have someone else on top of it and reassuring you that everything’s under control. Install baby locks, the car seat, the crib, and other precautions around the house so you’re not scrambling on arrival week.

Sex While Pregnant: All the Questions You’re Too Nervous to Ask

So you’ve been trying and trying and finally, it’s happened: you’re pregnant and expecting. Two pink lines on a plastic stick have started to change your body, and well, just about everything in your life. But you probably have one small question that feels a little weird to ask—can you still have sex while pregnant? What are the limits?

We’re here to answer all you’re wondering: is sex safe during pregnancy, do you need to use protection, and can it trigger labor? Don’t worry, these aren’t necessarily common knowledge and we totally understand why you’re curious. So, let’s get to it (that pun was kind of intended). 

Can sex hurt my pregnancy or my baby? 

The short answer here is, go crazy! Well, not like honeymoon phase crazy, because we all know how those positions can land you upside down in no time. But yes, if you have a normal pregnancy, there is little to no risk in having sex, as long as you’re checking in with your practitioner and staying on top of your checkups. Most women can actually have sex (if they’re feeling up to it) all the way up until their water breaks. Be sure to ask your practitioner about any risks, because every pregnancy is different. Practitioners may not recommend sex if you have a history of miscarriages, preterm labor, abnormal vaginal bleeding, amniotic sac leakage, or other complications. 

Can you hit the baby if you go deep enough? 

Don’t worry, your little one won’t be a spectator in the activities you have going on between the sheets. In fact, no matter how blessed your partner is, he still won’t be able to reach the baby; the baby is not growing in your vagina. Your baby is actually very well protected by your uterus and a layer of muscle - cocooned by amniotic fluid. That amniotic sac will keep your baby warm and protected, in the strong walls of your uterus and behind your cervix. And if you feel some movement- that’s just a coincidence, or maybe because your little one likes the soothing, rocking motion.

Still unsure about how to connect with your partner in the bedroom? Don’t worry. We spoke with a licensed midwife, Leopi Sanderson-Edmunds, about navigating sex from a more experiential perspective. Read more in our article here!

Do I have to use protection? 

Many people don’t wear condoms during pregnancy because, obviously, you’re already pregnant. However, a large risk that you may not be thinking about is Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s). Infections such as Chlamydia, Syphilis, Herpes, Hepatitis B, Gonorrhea, and others can be dangerous for your baby, and affect your delivery. During your first appointments during pregnancy, you’ll be tested for STI’s, but what is still a possibility is contracting it later in the pregnancy. Just make sure to consult with your doctor before going unprotected. 

Will it feel good? Can I orgasm? 

Okay, hear us out first trimester warriors- it is totally normal not to feel in the mood right now. Your first trimester is a plethora of change, plus it’s oftentimes filled with nausea, tiredness, and mood swings, so don’t feel the need to push yourself! You’re going through a lot, and your partner will understand. 

Once your symptoms from the first trimester start to fade (or maybe you were still feeling frisky anyways), sex during pregnancy could be some of the best sex of your life. Yep, you heard us right! Many women have said sex during pregnancy was way better than sex before- and there’s a reason for this. During pregnancy, there’s actually an increase in blood flow to your pelvic area, so it actually makes orgasms more powerful. On the other hand, you also may never want to have sex again, and literally want to strangle your partner for even asking. And that’s okay too. One day at a time, one day at a time. Just know you’re not alone- having lower libido levels is totally normal, too.

What are other ways to stay connected to my partner if I don’t want to have sex? 

Try keeping up that physical touch in other ways! Cuddling, making out, giving massages, or even oral sex will keep that love alive. Just because you’re not inside each other doesn’t mean you have to lose your passion. 

What are the best positions to try during pregnancy? 

The quick answer here is you’re going to have to test it out. Just like pre-pregnancy, some positions feel better than others. Most women find that positions with little to no pressure on their abdomen are best, so give these a try: 

Go on top! If you have the energy, going on top can be comfortable since there isn’t any pressure on your abdomen. 

On a chair - Try having your partner sit on a chair and climb on top. Try facing the same way, and the opposite way and see if either one feels good.

The edge of the bed - Similar to a chair, this will have low impact and be an easy position for you. Try sitting on your partner.

From little spoon position - Lie down with your partner facing your back and entering from behind. This position tends to be a little more shallow, which won’t push on your abdominal wall.

Missionary - If you want to do missionary (or get in a quickie), wedge a pillow under your pelvis so you’re tilted upwards, and make sure your partner doesn’t have any weight on your belly. 

Can sex trigger labor? 

By your third trimester, you could be experiencing some mild contractions. This could be triggered by so many things, but it’s also worth noting you may feel them after an orgasm- but not to worry! Generally speaking, if you have a normal, low-risk pregnancy, an orgasm can’t trigger early labor. Of course, make sure to check with your practitioner to make sure you’re not at high risk, but sexual stimulation itself cannot push your baby out. In your final weeks, it could create the activity needed to start labor, but that won’t happen unless you’re ready. 

Are there benefits to having sex during pregnancy? 

Ab-so-lutely. Let’s start by saying that if you can’t have sex during pregnancy, it’s not a world ender- but if you can muster the energy and willpower, it’s really healthy to do. Here’s why:

It’s a good form of exercise - Yep! Get that heart rate up! 

You can have better orgasms - As mentioned above, the increased circulation can make for killer orgasms.

Better sleep - releasing that energy will help you relax and will release good hormones.

It can help with discomfort - Orgasms release oxytocin, a hormone that increases your pain tolerance!

Develop a closer bond with your partner - Partners can sometimes feel like all the attention is on baby, and they want some of it too! Navigating through this time together and exploring the changes in your body will bring you closer. 

Changes in Your Relationship (and Body) that Happen After You Give Birth

I think I speak for us all when I say for a majority of life - women think about pregnancy a lot. You think about those 9 months, the trimesters, the ways your body will change throughout, and all the fun details - picking names, reading into your child’s zodiac sign- okay, maybe not really but you can’t say that hasn’t crossed your mind, right? 

Well, one thing we aren’t usually prepared for is the after. Not until I was pregnant, actually, did I start to think about it after. Or maybe if we’re being honest - not until after, did I think about after. Our bodies undergo a major transformation during pregnancy, that’s no secret - but they undergo an equivalently similar one post-delivery (not to mention our emotions, too). And while you can find a book down to the daily changes that happen when you’re pregnant, the different vegetable sizes your baby is during each week, and even predictions on how different types of music can determine your child’s IQ - your health and relationship with your partner after birth are easily overlooked, which becomes increasingly more stressful as you begin to care for your new addition on little to no sleep. 

Some women I’ve spoken to have even said they felt blindsided by their bodies, relationships, and emotions post-baby. Here are some things you can expect:

Changes in your emotions.

This section should come as no surprise - if you’re pregnant or have been pregnant, you understand this rollercoaster. Your hormones have been fluctuating like crazy to prepare for birth, and once you’ve delivered, your progesterone levels drop significantly, which can cause mood swings, anxiety, and depression for a few weeks after birth. Sometimes this can lead to postpartum depression, which is categorized by the same symptoms, but last longer. 

Tips for the emotional shifts: keep a written diary to help you release some emotions, or at least make sense of them. Write down the things you’re feeling grateful for (whether that’s a heavy dish of Fettucini Alfredo, or for your body which is literally growing a human being). 

Two’s company, three’s a… crowd? 

Speaking of a deep desire to bond with your baby - upon your little one’s new arrival, you’re also going to have a new dynamic in your relationship. This whole time, it’s just been the two on you, and sometimes moving into this transition can be difficult. 

You’ll have new (sometimes difficult) decisions about parenting, all while adjusting to not being the only thing on your partner’s mind. Sometimes partners can struggle when they feel sidelined - make sure to still pay attention to each other and give each other a pat on the back from time to time for the work that’s going into being new parents (on such little sleep).

Tips for keeping attention on each other: Try to plan a nightly check-in with your partner, maybe before you go to bed. Make a point to talk about your favorite part of the day and something you noticed that your partner did that you appreciated. 

Body shifts.

Thought your breasts were big enough from pregnancy? Think again. All that extra progesterone we were talking about above is going to make your breasts even larger, especially with all that milk in there. This will typically peak two to three days after you give birth, as well as make your breasts pretty sore. As you transition to breastfeeding, the swelling will go down. 

Tips for swelling: Rest, rest, rest! It will go down.

Let’s get to where the main event took place: your vagina. 

If you had a vaginal delivery, you were probably already expecting a bruised, swollen vagina. If you had a C-section, that means you’re dealing with a similarly swollen and bruised incision, along with puffy abdominal muscles. In both instances: painkillers and rest will be your best friends. Some other tips for vaginal recovery: try dipping a pad in witch hazel, or applying ice in your underwear to help decrease inflammation. 

Tips for your vagina: Again, painkillers and rest will be your best friends (at the advisement of your practitioner). 

Above all - Keep your and your partner’s mental health as a top priority during this time. You’re undergoing a lot of changes, so don’t be hard on yourself. You just brought a beautiful new life into the world, and for that, you should be so proud.

Birth Work Resources: Podcasts, Books and Blogs We Recommend

There’s no shortage of resources when it comes to learning more about birth work… which we quickly learned through writing this article. Below is a selected guide to all things doula, midwife, lactation consultant, etc. in form of podcasts, books, blogs! Choose your preferred method of information consumption and get to learning! 

Birth Work Podcasts

Pop on one of these during your workout… or while you’re just sitting on the couch. 

Taking Back Birth with Maryn Green

For the natural birth focused mama’s getting ready to bring their flower child into this world. 

Evidence-Based Birth with Rebecca Dekker 

If you’re looking to hear studies and factual accounts regarding the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy and labor. 

Doing It At Home Podcast

A guide to gentle birth, home birth, and how birth workers can help facilitate a safe home birth experience.

The Birth Hour- A Birth Story Podcast with Bryn Huntpalmer

This podcast explores the realities of birth—everything to consider and evaluate from conception to pregnancy to postpartum. 

Birth Work Books

A few more books to add to the huge stack already on your bedside table. 

Birth Work As Care Work by Alana Apfel 

If you’re looking to explore the politics and activism that surrounds birth work. 

The Doula’s Guide To Empowering Your Birth by Lindsey Bliss

Consider this book both a physical, spiritual, and mental preparation course for a comfortable and connected pregnancy. 

Birth Ambassadors by Elayne G Clift 

This book explains the history, the why, and the how behind women becoming birth workers in America. 

The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas and All Other Labor Companions by Peggy Simkin 

Perfect for pregnant mamas who are looking to optimally incorporate their partner and birth workers into their pregnancy. 

Birth Matters by Ina May Gaskin

The mother of natural/low intervention birth, Ina May Gaskin, breaks down her worldwide renowned philosophy and whether or not it’s right for you. 

If you’re looking for birth support beyond the media space, or specific resources for COVID-19, check out a few of our friends in the bodywork space. Our Practioner’s Guide is a tried and trusted list of local professionals and COVID resources! Read more here!

Birth Work Blogs

The following are blogs created by active doulas who are offering up their advice and expertise when it comes to hiring a birth worker, becoming a birth worker, and everyday pregnancy support and advice. Give ‘em a look. 

The Doula Chronicles by Efe Osaren

The blog follows the life of Efe Osaren, a Nigerian-American Student Midwife, Full Spectrum Doula, and Reproductive/Birth Justice advocate based in Brooklyn, New York. 

Calm Confident Doula

This hub helps you find birth doulas and postpartum doulas. The blog portion includes posts such as “Covid 19 And Doula Care” and “Eight Questions to Consider If Home Birth May Be Right For You.”

Emerald Doulas

This blog is where you’ll want to spend some time if you’re looking for some positive affirmations surrounding a pandemic pregnancy, including articles like “5 Ways Virtual Doula Support Benefits Your Birth.”

One Love Doula

These Florida-based doulas offer methods of dealing with any situation pregnancy or birth may throw your way. We recommend checking out “Planning an Epidural? Here’s How a Doula Can Help.”

Careers in Birth Work: The Many Ways To Get Involved

Ever heard the expression, “It takes a village?” Thaaat’s because it does. Each phase of pregnancy has a specialist, a guru, and a support group. That’s precisely why we’re so interested in the world surrounding the incredible process of birth. It’s full of people working hard to make women feel empowered and in control of a somewhat unpredictable experience. We believe birth work is among the most rewarding careers to pursue. You’ve heard of a doula and a midwife, but there are so many other birth work careers worth exploring. The following is a list of eight birth worker positions and how you can get started!

Childbirth Educator

What is it? The purpose of a childbirth educator is to properly inform and prepare a family or individual for what they are about to experience during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. They provide a safe place for their client to ask any question or voice any fears they may have about birth. They may also host courses, classes, and support groups for anyone interesting in learning the ins and outs of childbirth. 

What training is required? Certification is necessary to receive professional recognition as a childbirth educator. CAPPA, or the Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association is an excellent program to receive training through. They offer a few different course levels including an entirely online program. 

Prenatal Nutrition Counselor

What is it? A nutrition counselor provides information about the variety and quantity of nutrients a pregnant woman should be consuming as well as the number of calories she should take in each day. The emphasis on diet during pregnancy is necessary to optimize the healthy growth of the fetus while keeping the mother nourished as well. 

What training is required? You must become a certified nutritionist in order to practice as a prenatal nutrition counselor. We recommend IIN (Institute For Integrative Nutrition), a very popular holistic nutrition program whose online training course emphasizes dietary theories and nutrition science. 

Prenatal Massage Therapist

What is it? A prenatal massage therapist specializes in providing relaxation and physical stress relief in pregnant women using gentle pressure. The techniques work in tandem with the anatomical changes the female body experiences during pregnancy. 

What training is required? Specific prenatal masseuse certification is required before practicing. Body Therapy Education provides both an in-person and online prenatal massage certification course that is recognized by DONA, the Doulas of North America. 

Ever wonder what it’s like to be a male in the birth work space? Well, we spoke with Austin Humble, the recent founder of Compa Doula, and got the scoop on what it’s like working in an industry fueled by female energy… but not to worry, he brought a spark of his own. Read more here!

Maternity & Newborn Photographer

What is it? Maternity & Newborn Photographers are the ones responsible for those adorable photos you get in the mail of your friend’s new baby, or those stunning bare belly portraits of pregnant mamas you see on Instagram. Not only are these photographers artists, but they certainly need to have a way with children in order to capture that brief moment of focus a child has before staring off into space again. 

What training is required? Fortunately, no formal training or certification is required. You just need a good eye and artistic sensibility. Although, photography books and courses would be a great idea if you’re looking to start a serious business. Invest in a camera and start shooting pregnant friends and their beautiful babies!

Lactation Consultant

What is it? With the many difficulties that can occur during breastfeedings such as latching problems, lack of milk production, or painful feeding, a lactation consultant prepares their client for any struggles and most importantly, teaches them how to most efficiently feed their growing baby. They can also help with babies who may not be gaining enough weight. A lactation consultant typically has widespread knowledge but specializes in the postpartum. 

What training is required? Official certification requires at least 90 hours of lactation education and 1000 hours of clinical experience with new mothers and their children. Lactation Education offers an online CLSC (Certified Lactation Specialist Course) with live instructors. 

Newborn Night Nurse

What is it? A night nurse is a nanny or caretaker who works the night shift, giving the newborn’s mother/parents a chance to get some well-deserved sleep. The nurse will soothe the baby when they wake, bottle feed them, rock them back to sleep and provide peace of mind for the whole family. 

What training is required? While the word “nurse” is often used, this role is closer to a babysitter or nanny, so professional nurse training is not necessary for this job. Although, extensive newborn, postnatal, sleep training, and childcare knowledge is. Being a night nurse is about building a strong relationship and trust with the family you’re providing care for. And maybe taking a nap during the daytime… 

Prenatal/Postnatal Fitness Instructor

What is it? A prenatal fitness instructor will help guide you during your workouts, ensuring your intensity and positioning are safe for you and the baby. A postnatal fitness instructor is someone you will turn to when you’re ready to start gaining back some core strength, stability, and overall muscle tone you may have lost during pregnancy. Postnatal fitness often focuses on the re-strengthening of the pelvic floor. 

What training is required? Much like any standard trainer, official certification is required. AFPA fitness has an amazing pre/postnatal program that focuses on pre/postnatal physiology, trimester-specific exercise, and optimal maternal health. It’s online, go-at-your-own-pace, and totally affordable. 

Prenatal Chiropractor 

What is it? While it is difficult to find practices that are solely dedicated to prenatal chiropractics, all certified chiropractors receive training in prenatal care and then some go on to make it their specialty. Pregnancy puts a tremendous strain on the back and chiropractic treatment may provide relief, better sleep, more energy, and less anxiety. 

What training is required? You obviously have to obtain the standard chiropractic training and certification which typically requires four years of schooling and clinical training. However, if you’re focusing on prenatal chiro, you’ll want to make sure you’re getting women-specific training and supplementing your program with pelvic floor therapy training. 

A Male Perspective On Birth Work: An Interview with Austin Humble

Austin Humble, the recent founder of Compa Doula, is a young man with a vision and passion for birth work beyond his years. His sense of curiosity for the divine feminine as well as his eagerness to spread his birth philosophy radiates a sense of comfort, humility, and lightness that is exactly what we would want in a doula. Not to mention, his beautiful newborn daughter, Willow, joined us for the conversation, chiming in with various baby noises that made us all smile. 

Before we talk about your new business, I wanted to ask you about being a new father! Congratulations. What has surprised you most about fatherhood?

Oh, man. What has really surprised me is that I could just put her [Willow] on the ground and watch her for three hours and still be invested and inquisitive. Usually, I flit from thing to thing, but with Willow, she requires a lot of attention in a cool way. It’s like, I WANT to give her all my attention and she’s easy to focus on. And of course, they say, you’ll never love something like your child. And that’s surprising, even though you know ahead of time that that’s coming. 

You’re also a new father in the middle of a pandemic. What anxieties and stresses have you experienced with everything that’s going on in the world right now? Pandemic aside, your wife also went into labor during the Black Lives Matter riots here in LA. 

Britta Bushnell in her book “Transformed By Birth,” talks about how the birthing partner needs to be the banks to their partners’ river so they can be free to change and move and embrace the wild nature of labor. And Casie [Austin’s wife], had to remind me while all the news was happening and the helicopters were hovering, that it was time to turn it off. She said, “I can’t have that energy around this birth space right now.” And so that’s been one thing. Just that mindfulness that I want to be the protector of this space, the cultivator of this garden. And with the pandemic, I actually started doing a lot of cooking. I really fell in love with cooking really nourishing foods for Casie. I felt like, if I’m giving Casie a bowl of warm, nourishing food, then I’m, in effect, helping the baby. And as for staying at home, all of those peaceful homebody things are also great for a pregnant Mama. So there’s some alignment there. 

So tell me how you got interested in birth work. How did you begin Compa Doula? 

Even before the pandemic, our doula and midwife would always say, “Woah Austin, you seem so curious about this process.” This was news to me because I was just acting like myself. But I was getting these positive affirmations and it felt good. Then after the birth, I heard of DONA [doula training], which is like, the most official sounding place to get your credentials. I took a weekend course with Ana Paula Markel and I was like, this is awesome. I saw that there’s a sizable amount of female doulas, but not a lot of men who have doula practices. Then it was our lactation consultant that suggested I check out this Dad’s group for some support during the postpartum period. That’s when I realized that, a lot of the time, the things we need ourselves are the things we want to teach others. I wanted to be able to support partners so that they can support their birthing partner. Doulas are truth seekers. It feels like, I don’t know… this is transformative work I guess. 

How has being a doula changed or deepened your understanding of the female experience?

Wow. I’ve learned so much about the female body. I mean, my wife is a pelvic floor physical therapist, so we have a yoni model over here and a vulva model over there. I feel like I’m surrounded by the divine feminine that lives in my wife and my daughter at all times. I see [women] as so powerful and brave. My wife, from the beginning, has always been the type of woman who, like, uses a diva cup and gives her menstrual blood to the plants. I’m not just gonna sit here and watch her do that stuff and then not ask questions about it. Being a doula, in a way, is historical work, anthropological work, and anatomical work. There’s so much storytelling in birth. 

What’s your perspective on home birth versus hospital birth?

It’s all about informed consent. Preparing them for whatever is gonna happen. You’re acting at this beautiful liaison in this big world of birth. A lot of the time, what we see depicted in pop culture are things being done to the mama instead of her saying, “Yes, I want that.” Mama’s are already grappling with losing their autonomy by carrying a child, but then when things are getting poked and prodded and adjusted, they feel even more out of control. But between a home birth or hospital birth, one is not better than the other. You need to have all the options available to you. 

What’s it like being a male in a predominantly female line of work?

So sick! I love women. I love that, kind of, “tend and befriend” vibe that women have. In my very first doula course, it was me, one non-binary person, and forty women. Most of the women were actually black, which was awesome because we need more black doulas and midwives. Nothing about it makes me feel insecure about my masculinity. I think the world could benefit from more female OBGYNs and more male doulas. We need to balance some of these imbalances that we have in the world. 

What is your trajectory for Compa?

Well, I’m starting my own dad’s group. It’s gonna be a little bit more geared towards the spiritual nature of being a dad. I want to have a group where men can come together and talk about the emotional nature of their lives. So that’s next. Then, I’m working on making a curriculum to teach a birth prep class just for the dads. I mean, I googled top pregnancy questions from men, and I realized there needs be more education and there needs to be a safe place for them to ask those questions. 

How has your doula experience informed your role as a husband? 

I think that’s what’s funny about being a doula. A lot of the stuff I was already doing for Casie during the pregnancy are the things a doula recommends. Foot rubs, belly rubs, and eye gazing meditations. Connecting so that oxytocin can flow. That kind of behavior that helps your partner feel supported is also good for the marriage.

The pregnancy journey often focuses on the mother’s role - her responsibilities, challenges, and emotions… However, we know that often times, she isn’t alone. Read more about some of the obstacles men face in their transition to parenthood in our article here!

So talk to me about the postpartum meals you offer! What’s on the menu?

Every little bit of knowledge I’ve acquired about food over the last few years, I throw it in the pot! I’ve learned from a traditional Chinese medicine person about having more warming foods with pregnancy. I can make a really good kitchuri, which is basically this savory porridge with vegetables and lentils. When it comes down to pregnancy, you really want to eat things that are a net gain of energy and nutrients. I also make a bone broth and lots of soups. Not a lot of smoothies though, because they’re cold. You want to be drinking things like teas and broths because they’re warming. 

That all sounds delicious! I was excited to see you offer that.

Yeah, we also encapsulated the placenta and Casie’s milk supply has been amazing. We can’t pinpoint that as the main reason, but it definitely helps. And that’s what’s incredible about birth, really. It’s such a pyramid built up of so many little choices and decisions. If one thing goes awry, you also have 70 other things that you did right. Pregnant people need to be reminded that, “Hey, this is a ten-month process, and all these books that tell you to do this and that are great, but check in with yourself to see what feels good.” 

The Difference Between a Doula and a Midwife

If you’re like us, you love the idea of having a doula and a midwife around for your pregnancy… but you’re not exactly sure why. Do I need one? Both? Neither? What are their specific duties? Fear no more. Your comprehensive guide to doulas and midwives is right here. We want to help you decide what’s best for you and your pregnancy plan.

Doula

What is a doula?

A doula is a man or woman, likely without official obstetric (the branch of medicine that pertains to childbirth) training, that is brought in to offer emotional and physical support for a woman throughout her entire pregnancy and often during the postpartum period, as well. Basically, a hype man for the most difficult job in the world. 

What should I look for in a doula?

A doula should be well versed in medical lingo and procedures so that they can translate what may be happening in the delivery room to the mama and her partner. They are often the middle man between the doctor and the woman giving birth. An optimal doula is someone who is calm under pressure and can hold space for the mother’s emotions, distress, and pain, making sure their own emotions aren’t getting in the way. They should also create a space of non-judgment and certainly not impose their own beliefs around pregnancy on their client. In other words, your doula should have their sh*t together. 

Where do I find a doula?

Finding a doula can be as simple as asking around between friends and family. This method will help you get a sense of the doula’s personality and disposition which may not be able to be explained on paper. Another great source for finding a doula is DONA International: a doula certification program that also has a database of doulas available for hire. 

Midwife

What is a midwife?

A midwife is a man or woman who supports a woman during pregnancy but unlike a doula, a midwife has professional certification and training akin to that of a nurse. They are especially valuable for a home birth. A midwife is recommended for healthy women who want very little intervention in their birth and have no stated or intended complications. Their qualifications, however, do not replace those of an obstetrician or a perinatologist (a maternal-fetal medical specialist).

What should I look for in a midwife?

There are several levels of certifications a midwife can have. Certified nurse-midwives (CNMs) are professional nurses with a specialty in midwifery. Certified midwives (CMs) are non-nurse midwives who have completed an official midwifery program that requires a national examination to pass. Certified professional midwives (CPMs) have also passed the national exam and have extensive experience with childbirth outside of the hospital. And finally, lay midwives are not officially certified and have received less formal training. The level of midwife you’ll want to hire depends on the kind of birth and the amount of intervention you’re looking for. 

Where do I find a midwife?

You can find a midwife by becoming involved in your local birth center. Alternatively, Mothers Naturally is a great hub to find a midwife as well as reading birth stories. 

Still not sure about whether a doula or midwife is the best option for your labor journey? Read our article about a Hybrid Midwife, and how the support they give could be the best option for you. Read here!

Lockdown 2.0: Planning The Ultimate Night In

Well, this is awkward. Things aren’t going exactly as we’d hoped, to say the least. The return to some shred of normalcy is suddenly far out of reach. The scramble to clear out the toilet paper aisle is beginning all over again. In many cities, outdoor dining has been suspended and a curfew has been set. I don’t know about you, but we’re having deja-covid. However, we’re one quarantine older and wiser and we’ve all found our lockdown style by now. If it’s possible, let’s not allow this time to be as daunting and anxious. So we’re here to give you something to look forward to. We’re going to walk you through what we’d call the Ultimate Night-In. Grab your significant other, a member or two from your quarantine pod, or just yourself… surely you’ve gotten good at being alone by now.

5:00pm: Get Comfy

As far as we’re concerned, your workday ends now. So switch on that “do not disturb” setting on Slack and take off that designated zoom meeting blazer and maybe also your bra. Honestly, if you’ve even managed to put on a bra during this time, you’re an overachiever and you deserve this. Make sure whoever is joining you knows the dress code: sweatpants, sweatshirts, and fuzzy socks. No heels or crop tops allowed. That being said, being comfy can still mean being chic. The following brands accomplish both goals with beyond reasonable price points. New quarantine, new wardrobe. Right? RIGHT?!

 Le Cloud Clothing

*A seriously cool, comfy, and functional collection by comedian Amy Schumer.

Leimere Loungewear

*Classic and sophisticated neutrals that you’ll even be able to wear out once all of this over.

5:30pm: Make Yourself A Drink

Whether you’re drinking alcohol, La Croix, or some immunity-boosting, crime-fighting turmeric tonic, a ritual evening beverage sipped in a state of relaxation tells your brain it’s officially “me time.”

While we can’t all live like Cameron Diaz, we sure as hell can try by drinking her new brand of organic, biodynamic wine, Avaline. Not only is it delicious, but there are also zero added sugars or dies which are what give you the infamous wine headache. Available through Drizly or Harry's Wine (<<links).

Drink Avaline

If you’re skipping the booze, try Kin Euphoric mocktails which contain serotonin-producing superfoods and delightful botanicals like hibiscus and ginger. Find these at Whole Foods.

Kin Euphorics

Cheers.

6:00pm: Set The Tone

We may be stuck at home all over again, but let’s not underestimate the value of creating a completely different vibe throughout your space with something as simple as music. Re-create the sultry mood of a dimly lit bar, an elegant romantic restaurant, or even a hipster dinner party with the following playlists that strike just the right tone for an immersive night in.  

"Sexy Dinner Party" by Delaney Rowe on Spotify

"A Single Vibe" by Alex Delany on Spotify

6:30pm: Dinner Time 

The ultimate night-in calls for the ultimately culinary experience. While tee-ing up Postmates (now Uber?)  is easy, these recipes are just as easy and far less expensive. Okay, okay… maybe not just as easy. But Postmates doesn’t leave you with leftovers to dive into with a spatula at 10pm once your friend leaves. Not to mention that cooking something food-coma-worthy is the perfect activity to prime you for a few hours of screen time. More on that later. These recipes are among the reigning champions in the simple, delicious, and cheap category.

Wine-Braised Chicken Thighs with artichoke hearts

*Expect a bright, tangy flavor profile that’s grounded in warming, comforting dark meat and crispy chicken skin. Recipe by Alison Roman from New York Times Cooking.

Ratatouille Pasta

*If you’re looking for something vegetarian with the sophistication of a traditional French ratatouille but the indulgence of a bowl of carbs. Recipe by Sarah Jampel from Bon Appetit.

Seafood Okra Stew with black rice

*For when you’re an adventurous eater but a lazy cook. A spicy, cajun one-pot dish that will trick your friends into thinking you’re fancy AF. Recipe by Alexander Smalls from Food & Wine.

7:00pm: Pamper Yourself

Getting “pampered” used to mean time-consuming manicures, over-priced massages, and painful waxing treatments. We’re now living in a world where these indulgences simply aren’t as accessible anymore, and maybe for the better! The opportunity to be pampered is waiting for you right at home, in your pantry. With a few simple ingredients, we know you already have, you’ll be feeling luxurious in a matter of minutes. Just like Cameron Diaz. And go ahead and refill your drink right about now.

Brightening Superfood Face Mask

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil

1 Teaspoon Turmeric

2 Teaspoons Raw Honey

Combined ingredients in a small bowl. Spread a thin layer of the mask on your face and leave for 15-20 minutes. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and a cleanser. Oh, and don’t use a white towel. Turmeric, while healing and delicious, stains absolutely everything.

Hydrating Refrigerator Hair Mask

3-4 Egg Whites

1 Tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar

2 Tablespoon Olive Oil 

Combined ingredients in a small bowl. Massage through dry hair. Let it sit for 30 minutes to an hour. Rinse thoroughly with shampoo and conditioner. Make sure to rinse really well or else you’ll end up smelling like a vinaigrette.

8:00pm: Movie Time

You don’t need to convince me that watching The Parent Trap for the four-hundredth time is a good idea. It is. However, the Ultimate Night-In is about creating a memorable experience that separates it from every other night-in you’ll be having over the next few months. Challenge yourself to watch something completely new and current. You need something interesting to talk about during your FaceTime happy hour with your extended family with whom you have nothing in-common, don’t you? We’ve got you:

Palm Springs starring Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti.

*An existential romantic comedy accurately described as Groundhog Day meets Wedding Crashers. It’s funny, smart, and will quickly make it onto your “re-watchable” list. Available to watch on Hulu.

Sh*thouse starring Cooper Raiff and Dylan Gelula

*There’s a reason why an endless amount of charming, indie, coming-of-age movies get made: because they’re the best type of movies. This one made a huge splash at all the festivals and you’ll be the friend who knew about it before it became huge. Available to watch on Amazon Prime.

10:30pm: End Your Night With A Moment of Gratitude

Take a hot bath. Listen to a podcast. Call a loved one. However you choose to wind down, take time to reflect, and express gratitude for the privilege of a night-in. Not everyone has such a luxury. Let’s remember that the Ultimate Night-In is, ultimately, the Safest Night-In. So wear your masks, social distance and take care.

Not quite tired yet? Grab your partner, set the mood and finish off the night with a sensual party for two. Read more about postpartum sex here.