Thoughts on Raising (and Teaching) Children during COVID

Touching on the social dynamics of children going to school online and on Zoom…

You have a front-row view of shifts in your child that you’ve seen pre-pandemic to now: but how can parents identify alarming changes and help combat the effects of COVID on children? Read below for some thoughts on how COVID might be affecting your children, and tips on how to help out.

Zoom is the New Playground

We spoke with Stephanie Juarez, a working mom in the Southern California area, who has noticed major changes in her son, who is 17 years old. She recalls that before COVID, her son was on the shy side- but luckily his Sophomore year of high school was becoming a breakthrough. “He joined the water polo team and we finally felt like he was improving his social skills, making friends, and was the happiest we’d seen him. Before that, his interests were in video games or activities that isolated him”. She told us the first few weeks of lockdown were easy for her son; his friends would keep up via FaceTime, Call of Duty (an extremely popular Xbox game among teenage boys), or the occasional phone call.

But as time went on, week after week on Zoom school, her son began to take some steps backward and was showing signs of burnout. Although he started with a strong desire to get back into water polo and wanted to keep up with his high school friends, these were soon replaced by mood changes which led him into isolation. Stephanie recalls her and her husband purchasing a VR toy that he hadn’t picked up in months. “I’ll never forget the moment he picked up that headset for the first time in months. We were devastated- but what can you do? Of course, we set limits and encourage him to do other things, but to see him shift so quickly back to his ‘virtual world’ was heartbreaking. Kids don’t know how to cope with what’s going on.”

One recommendation that Stephanie said helped her was more intentional family time. She said she let her two children pick meals each week and would involve them in cooking. Dad would bring them outside more on neighborhood walks. And they even started watching movies together. She also called up a few other moms from school and set up social distance play dates, which she feels has helped her son a lot.

Loss of a Routine

 Does your family (among many others) rely on resources like sports, summer camps, after-school daycare, and general activities to keep your children active (and you sane while you’re working)? Chances are those programs haven’t started back up, and if they have, they’re a lot shorter than they were before. Kids used to be learning how to schedule their lives: school, then sports, then bath time, dinner, and bed, etc. Now, we expect them to say “use this meeting password at 12:15, then log off at 1:15, and go back on at 1:30 while mama is working”? If your kid is anywhere under the age of 5, good luck. Creating an at home school schedule is virtually impossible, but here are our tips on how to keep it controlled:

If you’re also working from home, (if your schedule permits), try creating a fun activity for your kid called “walk to class”. Getting up and moving will help their attention span, and this will make it fun. Get up from their workspace, walk outside or upstairs, and turn back around. Then, diiiing! The next class is in session! Additionally, call on other members of the household to help start your little ones Zoom classes, so you’re not on duty 24/7. Last resort, try forming a study “pod”- this is where a few mothers will hire a tutor to monitor a few kids at a time while they attend school.

We also loved this article that shares tips and tricks for even the most distracted children… It’s something new for children, teachers, and parents, so try to remain flexible and patient! Read the full article here.

Inability to Become Inspired

Kids aren’t used to learning in isolation; it’s just not natural. The moments of asking a friend next to you what the teacher said or raising your hand to have your teacher check your work are nonexistent. Studies have shown that kids who felt like they had friends and supportive teachers thought school was more interesting, which made them more engaged and perform better. Recess is the best part of school, and without that- it makes the incentives much lower for kids to pay attention.

How to cope with this: try engaging more than usual in your child’s schoolwork. If you can help make up for their lack of in-school support, they’ll at least know someone cares. Even though 2nd-grade spelling can be the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day, it will have wonderful effects and lead to positive reinforcement for your children.

Lack of Exercise

Okay, P.E. over Zoom? Give us a break. Kids can hardly pay attention for 10 minutes over Zoom, let alone doing a form of exercise indoors. Parents, now is the time to dust off your workout gear and get some movement in with your kids. Children are not meant to sit in front of a computer all day: this not only affects their mental health, but also their bodies. Your kids need a break from screen-time. Studies have shown that children who have too much screen time don’t sleep as well, develop blurry vision, and have dry, irritated eyes.

Here are some solutions: monitor unnecessary screen time. Take into consideration how long their classes are and try to get them off the screen in between (but still allow them to socialize when school is done!). Also, take those smart devices out of their bedrooms, because they can make sleep a hard time. Lastly, try getting them outdoors for a daily walk or bit of exercise so they can release some of that energy. 

Stress and Anxiety 

It’s no surprise that kids have already shown much higher levels of stress and anxiety since the pandemic began. Parents are much more in tune with children, many of which have begun taking away more screen time or social media out of concern. It’s important to realize it’s inevitable to have more screen time right now because it’s the only way our kids can stay connected. Those who can’t talk to friends at all can easily become lonely, or even depressed.

Make sure you check in with your child once every day. Make mental health a priority in your household, and learn to talk about feelings. The best thing is to stay in tune with yourself, your partner, and your children. You never know how someone is coping with this pandemic. Try to make the most of it by being there for each other through these tough times. Our community is here for you, too.

International Women's Month: Celebrating Strong Mothers Who Endured COVID Pregnancies

Ahh… March. It’s a special one! The beginning of Spring, Daylight Savings (for some of us!), and of course, that special week you get extra time with kids- Spring Break. On top of all of this, in the past few years, women have come together more than ever to fight for women’s equality.

As you may know- March is International Women’s Month. Today, we wanted to feature a couple of moms who were pregnant throughout COVID, and in our eyes are absolute superstars. Pregnancy was already hard enough; throw a pandemic on top of it and now we’re in uncharted territory. Women are going to appointments alone, not having the opportunity to celebrate with family, and some aren’t even able to have their partners in the delivery room. Suddenly, the days where we struggled to pick out items in our nurseries are overshadowed by much larger problems.

If you’ve had any part of your pregnancy during this pandemic, we want to start by saying: you are incredible and we are in awe of you. So what better way to celebrate Women’s Month than to feature a story of an incredible mom who went into lockdown the week after she announced her pregnancy to her family? Below is our conversation with Bobbie Marlow, a 35-year-old mother of two beautiful boys.

Before we talk all about your pregnancy journey, I wanted to first congratulate you on your beautiful baby boy, Harry! What do you think has been the most surprising thing about being a mother this past (five) months?

Thank you, thank you! Well, there’s certainly one thing that hasn’t changed with this pregnancy: I haven’t had any sleep. Babies are just programmed to keep us chronically awake, I think.

But yeah, obviously we had baby Harry in the middle of a pandemic so pretty much everything has changed this time around. There are definitely silver linings, as well as drawbacks. I think the thing that’s been the most different this time around is that I’ve had my husband at home so much these past 5 months since he’s working from home. He’s still on calls the whole day, but having him be able to take a 15-minute break here and there, and do lunches at home has made a huge difference. I work from home too so it’s allowed me a little extra work time, or a quick ride on the Peloton when he can watch the baby.

So take me back to the very beginning. It was February of last year, and you found out you were pregnant- how exciting!

Yes! I found out we were pregnant in early February, so I was due in November. I only had a month of my pregnancy before we went into lockdown. Not to mention, we didn’t even find out until a couple of weeks before California shut down.

 You had just told your family you were pregnant, and a week later, suddenly the world was on lockdown. Most of us were fighting for toilet paper and food. What did that time look like when you were just starting your pregnancy?

Oh, gosh. It was nothing like I was expecting my pregnancy to be like. We’d just gotten back from a trip to Mexico when we found out we were pregnant, and of course, in those two weeks, I had so many things going through my head. What gender was the baby, how would we tell my family, what would the gender reveal look like, how would I decorate their room, and of course- where would I go for my babymoon?

So then, a week before the pandemic, I told my immediate family I was pregnant. My parents, my sister and her husband, and my little brother. I’d been wanting another baby for so long. Obviously, I’d heard about COVID-19, but I didn’t think much would come of it. Then, on March 16th, California went into full lockdown. I had no idea what to think. I was terrified. We were lucky enough to find a grocery store that had a good amount of things that my husband went to, and he stocked up on some diapers and Lysol. We wiped everything down and he immediately took a shower and we bleached his clothes. Luckily we had a couple of paint masks in our garage because I called 17 stores around us- no exaggeration- and they were all sold out.

The pandemic has been an unprecedented time for everyone, especially mothers-to-be. The thoughts and challenges traditionally associated with pregnancy have been exacerbated ten-fold, bringing on waves of stress and anxiety and leaving expectant couples with more questions than answers. But, we have you covered in our article, Coping with Pregnancy Anxiety During a Pandemic, where we speak on ways to overcome these negative feelings by offering a few simple daily changes that have the ability to alter your pregnancy experience for the better.

That must have been terrifying. Once the shock settled in and you realized, okay, we’re going to be shut down for a while- what went through your mind?

Of course, my main fear was somehow getting the virus and something happening to my baby. On a smaller level, I was concerned about getting food, diapers, and sanitizer for the house. I had no idea what was going on or what to think, and pretty much went into panic mode. Not only was I providing for myself, but also a tiny baby who certainly couldn’t fight off a virus-like what I was seeing on the news. I was also afraid for my 3.5-year-old, and my husband. This was when we were watching the news hourly and hearing devastating stories of young families who were getting the virus severely enough that they were on ventilators. It was devastating and the scariest thing to watch- I mean, we were all watching it unfold just waiting for answers.

What do you think were the main differences between your first and second pregnancies?

I think any person that was pregnant at the beginning of the pandemic can acknowledge there are so many things we’ve taken for granted in our perception of pregnancy. With my last pregnancy, my biggest concerns were the color I’d paint the nursery, or how I’d announce my pregnancy on social media. Now, I was just praying my husband could be in the delivery room to see our baby.

Was your husband able to go to all your appointments? Was there any talk of him not being able to be present at the birth?

Oh gosh, yes. There was so much uncertainly in the beginning. I just remember hearing stories about women, specifically in New York, that weren’t able to have their husbands in the delivery room. I had nightmares about it, wondering how I’d do it on my own. I couldn’t imagine having him drop me off and not being able to be present at the birth. I was extremely lucky though because he was able to be at the birth.

I think the saddest moment we had is when we realized he wasn’t going to be present for the gender reveal appointment. So that’s when we decided we wanted to keep the gender a secret until the baby was born, so we could enjoy that moment together. It also gave us something to look forward to during such a dark time. 

How did your support system work throughout covid? I know you have a pretty close family that was very present during your other pregnancy; this time around, were they able to support you from afar?

Again, really lucky in this department because my family lives very local to me. My parents had hired a shopper for themselves, my sister, and I (my parents are in their 70s, and my sister is in a high-risk category). The choices at the store were nonexistent; it was like, take whatever you can get.  We also live near some farms, so I was able to coordinate a few pick-ups. My family tried to make the best of it. A couple of nights a week we would all make the same dinner and send each other photos and eat at the same time. That really kept me going and made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

My parents also have a backyard, so we drove over and sat on chairs about 30 feet from them and talked to them once a week. I recognize how lucky I was to have this experience though because a lot of my friends didn’t.

What was your secret to keeping such a good mindset through such a dark time?

To be honest, seeing how the world was coming together during such a terrible time gave me hope. I was so convinced that someone would find a vaccine soon. I was also tremendously inspired by healthcare and frontline workers. I thought to myself, if they can work on the front lines and risk their lives to keep our world running, I can get through this pregnancy that I have the privilege of sitting at home for.

Were there any silver linings in having your pregnancy at this time? 

Absolutely. I definitely had more time to focus on important things like staying in tune with my body and my baby during the pregnancy. I had more time at home with my husband, more time with my 3-year-old before there was a new addition to the mix, and was constantly surprised by how everyone continued to show up for me. I felt like the world was going through it together, and I wasn’t alone.

Birth Work Resources: Podcasts, Books and Blogs We Recommend

There’s no shortage of resources when it comes to learning more about birth work… which we quickly learned through writing this article. Below is a selected guide to all things doula, midwife, lactation consultant, etc. in form of podcasts, books, blogs! Choose your preferred method of information consumption and get to learning! 

Birth Work Podcasts

Pop on one of these during your workout… or while you’re just sitting on the couch. 

Taking Back Birth with Maryn Green

For the natural birth focused mama’s getting ready to bring their flower child into this world. 

Evidence-Based Birth with Rebecca Dekker 

If you’re looking to hear studies and factual accounts regarding the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy and labor. 

Doing It At Home Podcast

A guide to gentle birth, home birth, and how birth workers can help facilitate a safe home birth experience.

The Birth Hour- A Birth Story Podcast with Bryn Huntpalmer

This podcast explores the realities of birth—everything to consider and evaluate from conception to pregnancy to postpartum. 

Birth Work Books

A few more books to add to the huge stack already on your bedside table. 

Birth Work As Care Work by Alana Apfel 

If you’re looking to explore the politics and activism that surrounds birth work. 

The Doula’s Guide To Empowering Your Birth by Lindsey Bliss

Consider this book both a physical, spiritual, and mental preparation course for a comfortable and connected pregnancy. 

Birth Ambassadors by Elayne G Clift 

This book explains the history, the why, and the how behind women becoming birth workers in America. 

The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas and All Other Labor Companions by Peggy Simkin 

Perfect for pregnant mamas who are looking to optimally incorporate their partner and birth workers into their pregnancy. 

Birth Matters by Ina May Gaskin

The mother of natural/low intervention birth, Ina May Gaskin, breaks down her worldwide renowned philosophy and whether or not it’s right for you. 

If you’re looking for birth support beyond the media space, or specific resources for COVID-19, check out a few of our friends in the bodywork space. Our Practioner’s Guide is a tried and trusted list of local professionals and COVID resources! Read more here!

Birth Work Blogs

The following are blogs created by active doulas who are offering up their advice and expertise when it comes to hiring a birth worker, becoming a birth worker, and everyday pregnancy support and advice. Give ‘em a look. 

The Doula Chronicles by Efe Osaren

The blog follows the life of Efe Osaren, a Nigerian-American Student Midwife, Full Spectrum Doula, and Reproductive/Birth Justice advocate based in Brooklyn, New York. 

Calm Confident Doula

This hub helps you find birth doulas and postpartum doulas. The blog portion includes posts such as “Covid 19 And Doula Care” and “Eight Questions to Consider If Home Birth May Be Right For You.”

Emerald Doulas

This blog is where you’ll want to spend some time if you’re looking for some positive affirmations surrounding a pandemic pregnancy, including articles like “5 Ways Virtual Doula Support Benefits Your Birth.”

One Love Doula

These Florida-based doulas offer methods of dealing with any situation pregnancy or birth may throw your way. We recommend checking out “Planning an Epidural? Here’s How a Doula Can Help.”

Lockdown 2.0: Planning The Ultimate Night In

Well, this is awkward. Things aren’t going exactly as we’d hoped, to say the least. The return to some shred of normalcy is suddenly far out of reach. The scramble to clear out the toilet paper aisle is beginning all over again. In many cities, outdoor dining has been suspended and a curfew has been set. I don’t know about you, but we’re having deja-covid. However, we’re one quarantine older and wiser and we’ve all found our lockdown style by now. If it’s possible, let’s not allow this time to be as daunting and anxious. So we’re here to give you something to look forward to. We’re going to walk you through what we’d call the Ultimate Night-In. Grab your significant other, a member or two from your quarantine pod, or just yourself… surely you’ve gotten good at being alone by now.

5:00pm: Get Comfy

As far as we’re concerned, your workday ends now. So switch on that “do not disturb” setting on Slack and take off that designated zoom meeting blazer and maybe also your bra. Honestly, if you’ve even managed to put on a bra during this time, you’re an overachiever and you deserve this. Make sure whoever is joining you knows the dress code: sweatpants, sweatshirts, and fuzzy socks. No heels or crop tops allowed. That being said, being comfy can still mean being chic. The following brands accomplish both goals with beyond reasonable price points. New quarantine, new wardrobe. Right? RIGHT?!

 Le Cloud Clothing

*A seriously cool, comfy, and functional collection by comedian Amy Schumer.

Leimere Loungewear

*Classic and sophisticated neutrals that you’ll even be able to wear out once all of this over.

5:30pm: Make Yourself A Drink

Whether you’re drinking alcohol, La Croix, or some immunity-boosting, crime-fighting turmeric tonic, a ritual evening beverage sipped in a state of relaxation tells your brain it’s officially “me time.”

While we can’t all live like Cameron Diaz, we sure as hell can try by drinking her new brand of organic, biodynamic wine, Avaline. Not only is it delicious, but there are also zero added sugars or dies which are what give you the infamous wine headache. Available through Drizly or Harry's Wine (<<links).

Drink Avaline

If you’re skipping the booze, try Kin Euphoric mocktails which contain serotonin-producing superfoods and delightful botanicals like hibiscus and ginger. Find these at Whole Foods.

Kin Euphorics

Cheers.

6:00pm: Set The Tone

We may be stuck at home all over again, but let’s not underestimate the value of creating a completely different vibe throughout your space with something as simple as music. Re-create the sultry mood of a dimly lit bar, an elegant romantic restaurant, or even a hipster dinner party with the following playlists that strike just the right tone for an immersive night in.  

"Sexy Dinner Party" by Delaney Rowe on Spotify

"A Single Vibe" by Alex Delany on Spotify

6:30pm: Dinner Time 

The ultimate night-in calls for the ultimately culinary experience. While tee-ing up Postmates (now Uber?)  is easy, these recipes are just as easy and far less expensive. Okay, okay… maybe not just as easy. But Postmates doesn’t leave you with leftovers to dive into with a spatula at 10pm once your friend leaves. Not to mention that cooking something food-coma-worthy is the perfect activity to prime you for a few hours of screen time. More on that later. These recipes are among the reigning champions in the simple, delicious, and cheap category.

Wine-Braised Chicken Thighs with artichoke hearts

*Expect a bright, tangy flavor profile that’s grounded in warming, comforting dark meat and crispy chicken skin. Recipe by Alison Roman from New York Times Cooking.

Ratatouille Pasta

*If you’re looking for something vegetarian with the sophistication of a traditional French ratatouille but the indulgence of a bowl of carbs. Recipe by Sarah Jampel from Bon Appetit.

Seafood Okra Stew with black rice

*For when you’re an adventurous eater but a lazy cook. A spicy, cajun one-pot dish that will trick your friends into thinking you’re fancy AF. Recipe by Alexander Smalls from Food & Wine.

7:00pm: Pamper Yourself

Getting “pampered” used to mean time-consuming manicures, over-priced massages, and painful waxing treatments. We’re now living in a world where these indulgences simply aren’t as accessible anymore, and maybe for the better! The opportunity to be pampered is waiting for you right at home, in your pantry. With a few simple ingredients, we know you already have, you’ll be feeling luxurious in a matter of minutes. Just like Cameron Diaz. And go ahead and refill your drink right about now.

Brightening Superfood Face Mask

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil

1 Teaspoon Turmeric

2 Teaspoons Raw Honey

Combined ingredients in a small bowl. Spread a thin layer of the mask on your face and leave for 15-20 minutes. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and a cleanser. Oh, and don’t use a white towel. Turmeric, while healing and delicious, stains absolutely everything.

Hydrating Refrigerator Hair Mask

3-4 Egg Whites

1 Tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar

2 Tablespoon Olive Oil 

Combined ingredients in a small bowl. Massage through dry hair. Let it sit for 30 minutes to an hour. Rinse thoroughly with shampoo and conditioner. Make sure to rinse really well or else you’ll end up smelling like a vinaigrette.

8:00pm: Movie Time

You don’t need to convince me that watching The Parent Trap for the four-hundredth time is a good idea. It is. However, the Ultimate Night-In is about creating a memorable experience that separates it from every other night-in you’ll be having over the next few months. Challenge yourself to watch something completely new and current. You need something interesting to talk about during your FaceTime happy hour with your extended family with whom you have nothing in-common, don’t you? We’ve got you:

Palm Springs starring Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti.

*An existential romantic comedy accurately described as Groundhog Day meets Wedding Crashers. It’s funny, smart, and will quickly make it onto your “re-watchable” list. Available to watch on Hulu.

Sh*thouse starring Cooper Raiff and Dylan Gelula

*There’s a reason why an endless amount of charming, indie, coming-of-age movies get made: because they’re the best type of movies. This one made a huge splash at all the festivals and you’ll be the friend who knew about it before it became huge. Available to watch on Amazon Prime.

10:30pm: End Your Night With A Moment of Gratitude

Take a hot bath. Listen to a podcast. Call a loved one. However you choose to wind down, take time to reflect, and express gratitude for the privilege of a night-in. Not everyone has such a luxury. Let’s remember that the Ultimate Night-In is, ultimately, the Safest Night-In. So wear your masks, social distance and take care.

Not quite tired yet? Grab your partner, set the mood and finish off the night with a sensual party for two. Read more about postpartum sex here.

Coping With Pregnancy Anxiety During a Pandemic

The process of bringing new life into this world is one that deserves to be joyful, secure, and full of exciting anticipation. But what about when the world itself is uncertain, hazardous, and full of new rules and regulations? We cannot ignore the ways in which our lives must change and adapt given the strange circumstances our world is facing. We also believe your pregnancy can still be a beautiful expression of the female experience and you deserve nothing less. Which is why we are offering a few simple daily habits that may alter your experience for the better:

1) Create A Sacred Morning Routine

A morning routine that you look forward to the night before and gets you out of bed the next day is something worth cultivating. A few simple moments taken for yourself can set the tone for your entire day. So, be protective and even a little selfish about this time- after all, it is for you. You’re growing a tiny human in your own body, for goodness sake. We suggest starting with either morning breaths or meditation followed by a skincare routine you absolutely love. We challenge you to not check your phone the first thing in the morning- studies have actually found it causes anxiety that lingers through the day when you read emails as soon as you wake up. Try to go a full hour without looking at your phone- set your alarm, or buy an old fashion alarm if you think you’ll feel tempted, and do your best to start your morning naturally. Then go ahead and indulge in that 200 milligrams of caffeine while catching up on your favorite podcast (check out the Armchair Expert Pod if you’re into laughing and soul searching, which we know you are).

2) Incorporate Adaptogens Into Your Diet

If you haven’t heard this buzz word around your local health food store or a wellness blog by now, it’s time to get into it. Adaptogens are super herbs and mushrooms (not those kinds of mushrooms) that grow in harsh climates which they’ve learned to adapt. Because they’ve developed this radical adaptation, once they are ingested into the body, they help us adapt to whatever harsh climate we are facing such as stress, lack of sleep, and muscle strain. They find what we need and adapt. Pretty cool, huh? They are often in powder form and go deliciously well with coffee, tea, and smoothies. Some examples are ashwagandha, Shatavari, and maca. Keep it simple by trying out this adaptogenic wellness blend in capsule form, Super You from Moon Juice, proven to reduce cortisol over time by 30%.  

Super You

3) Connect The Mind And Body

It’s easy to forget that we store emotions in neglected parts of our body. Tight muscles and achy joints are not just caused by exercise or overexertion. Release whatever your body may be holding onto by using a foam roller. Lay on the floor, belly up and place the roller vertically between your shoulder blades. Release your arms out wide and gently roll back and forth, opening up the chest. Breath deeply into this heart-opening exercise and you may be surprised with what comes up. Roll with it.

Foam Roller

Read our article with a few yoga poses to help you gain mental clarity and reconnect with your breath! Check it out here!

Look, we know that all the tips and tricks in the world will not be able to soothe inevitable stress. Fear, uncontrollable emotions, and future tripping are abundant during pregnancy even without a global pandemic present. But that’s where we’re at right now. And this will always be your story to tell. And you’ve got this.